Let’s talk about sex, baby.

If you’re lucky enough to have a fun, healthy, sex life, good on you.

And for many of us, that involves using contraception in one form or another.

But when it comes to condoms, the ‘pleasure debate’ is often a sticking point for men in particular.

Research revealed that two thirds of UK singletons rarely use condoms, if at all, with a fifth of men claiming the reason they don’t is because they reduce sensation.

In response, Durex have launched Durex Nude, their thinnest condom to date.

The brand is so confident that this new condom won’t reduce sexual pleasure, that they’re hiring 50 Brits to test and review – each earning £100.

All you have to do is sign up via the Durex Instagram account from today and you can see whether the condoms deliver on their promise.

Those selected will receive a package containing Durex Nude condoms, Durex lube and a measurement guide alongside a QR code, where they can leave their review of the range.

And it’s not just reduced sensation that appears to put Brits off wrapping up. For 18% of singles, the reason they don’t like putting a condom on is because it makes sex less spontaneous, while another 11% said they were a mood killer.

But it seems that the role of a johnnie tester has never been more important, with a 24% rise year on year in STIs in the UK.

Nearly 20% of women also said they would judge a partner if they didn’t at least offer or suggest using a condom when it came to having sex with them for the first time.

Nikki Hayward, category marketing manager for Durex said: ‘After years of development, Nude, which is designed to feel it all, is our thinnest condom yet, and comes in three fits to ensure there’s an option to suit everyone.

‘We’re so confident that this condom will be a game changer when it comes to proving that condoms can actually make sex more enjoyable, that we’re putting our money where our mouth is, and recruiting our very own team of paid condom testers from across the UK.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : Asking For A Friend: Is it weird that my partner keeps their eyes closed during sex?

MORE : ‘I wanted a baby so badly. Now I can’t afford to see her’

MORE : Why female surgeons are staying silent after sexual assault

Asking For A Friend is the series where we answer the questions you don’t want to ask.

Picture this: you’re having steamy, passionate sex with your partner, but every time you try to gaze into their eyes, they’re closed.

If this is something that happens every time you make love with your partner, it’s understandable that you might feel a little uncomfortable.

We place a lot of importance on eye contact, particularly when it comes to dating and relationships — and it makes sense.

Research has shown that holding eye contact leads to increased ‘feelings of passionate love, dispositional love, and liking’ for their partner. 

Without it, Gigi Engle ACS, a certified sex educator and lead intimacy expert at 3Fun tells Metro.co.uk, some people may be left feeling insecure or disconnected from their partner.

‘Many people find eye contact during intimacy to build closeness, and when someone’s eyes are closed, you may lose this,’ she says. 

That said, there is nothing inherently wrong with closing your eyes during sex. It may help some people feel more connected to their body, less anxious and able to focus. 

It could even be that, as Gigi explains, your partner may be conditioned to close their eyes during intercourse. 

‘They may have closed their eyes during their first sexual experiences and now do it automatically,’ she says. 

The actual problem isn’t that your partner keeps their eyes closed, it’s that it makes you feel a type of way (which is also completely valid, fyi).

‘It’s OK to feel discomfort around it, but ask yourself why you feel this discomfort,’ says Gigi.

‘What is coming up for you? What is this triggering in you? 

‘Exploring why something is making us have a negative reaction can help us take ownership of our own feelings —  and be able to articulate how we’re feeling to our partner.

‘Because it isn’t that they are doing anything wrong, they are doing something that is impacting you and your emotions.’

How to navigate this with your partner

So what’s the solution? As always, a healthy dose of communication is likely to do the trick.

Explain to your partner how it makes you feel when they close their eyes during sex, and try to unpack where that’s coming from without putting any blame on them — and find out why your partner likes to close their eyes in the first place.

‘Usually, if you can explain to a partner why you prefer a certain thing during sex, you can make a lot more sense of it,’ says Gigi.

The next stage is compromise: maybe your partner can open their eyes sometimes, and close them only when they need to focus, or maybe, as Gigi suggests, you can find other ways to feel connected to each other during sex, like using dirty talk.

Finally, remember that we often project our insecurities and beliefs onto people, especially our partners.

Try not to make the fact that they close their eyes all the time about you, and find a way to enjoy sex with your partner regardless of your differences. It would be boring if we all did it the same way, anyway!

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : This is what counts as a sexless relationship, according to a therapist

MORE : Why it’s time to rip up your sexual script

MORE : What is the speed bump sex position and what are the benefits?

‘Gopher it’, is the sweet saying husbands James and Matt say when they’re encouraging each other to go for something.

This is part of their ‘marriage language’, and the men both in their 30s accompany the term with little ‘gopher hands’, to mimic the rat-like animal, when they say it.

Marriage languages are secret words and sayings couple have between each other, which the outside world wouldn’t understand, that they completely get.

Kiran and her husband Michael, in their late 20s, understand that if Kiran says ‘I’m going to tube’, that means she’s going to put YouTube on and have a nap – it’s Michael’s cue to put the TV on for her, load up YouTube, and get her blanket.

Newly weds Em and Josh, who just celebrated their first year of marriage together, call themselves ‘wif’ and ‘hummerbund’, in place of wife and husband.

Metro’s own senior lifestyle reporter, Jess, and her boyfriend, Sean, will shake the other’s hand, and intensely say: ‘strong as an ox’. It started off as a way to show the other support and encouragement – now, it happens at random.

And Metro’s deputy SEO editor, Evie Richards, admits that ‘rich tea biscuits’ are known as ‘the noice biccies’ between her and boyfriend, Harry.

It would be icky if the couples weren’t so cute together.

The term ‘marriage language’ has gone around on TikTok, with couples sharing their special words too.

Psychotherapist Caroline Plumer, founder of CPPC London, says this is all a part of bond building.

‘As humans we are always looking for connection and belonging,’ she says.

‘We start off belonging to a family, and then more often than not, we look for friendship groups and romantic relationships to belong to.

‘Along with things in common, these relationships evolve until they are also based on shared history, and with this can come a shorthand for communicating.

‘These words or expressions are usually borne of shared experiences and serve as a reminder of the good times we have shared together.’

It’s not just married couples that do this – friends and family will have their own secret languages, it’s just that married people are taking to the social media moment and joining in the conversation.

‘Exclusivity, and being part of something others are not, tends to make us feel special, and it’s no different when it comes to relationships,’ Caroline explains.

‘Whilst a relationship language can strengthen your bond, it’s worthwhile remembering that doing it in front of other people can be insensitive and may leave them feeling ostracized.’

No one really wants to witness these moments if they aren’t a part of it.

She continues: ‘The more time and experiences we have with someone, the more stories we create with them and as such, it’s only natural that some of these stories evolve into their own way of communicating and even their own words and expressions.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : Woman who breastfeeds her husband says it makes their ‘marriage stronger’

MORE : TikToker who paid group restaurant bill calls out ‘friend’ who still owes her £192

As Sexual Health Awareness Week kicks off, a new report reveals how poor sex education can lead to risky sex choices.

Sexual wellness brand Lovehoney surveyed participants in the UK and found that most people don’t rate the sex education they had at school – with only 3% of people saying theirs was excellent.

As a result, 44% of people revealed that they learned about areas like sex, masturbation, and sexual health simply ‘by doing it.’

The next most popular way of learning was from a partner or friends. 

Ranking fourth was porn, which the brand call a ‘worrying’ result.

When looking at men specifically, pornography becomes the second-most popular answer to the question, with 36% saying they learned through porn.

This skews people’s views of sex, as 49% of men have tried to imitate something they have seen in porn during a real life sexual act, while 31% have felt pressure to look or perform in a way that mimics pornography.  

What’s more, 36% also felt encouraged to have sex without the use of contraception, after watching porn.

The survey also found more people tried rough sex, hardcore sex, deep throating, choking, gagging and slapping after learning about sex through porn.

Annabelle Knight, sex and relationships expert, said: ‘It’s not just the fact that this country’s sex education is bad that’s worrying, but it’s also where people are going to fill the gaps in their knowledge.

‘That so many people are turning to the often unrealistic and sometimes dangerous world of porn to learn about sex, or to unverified accounts on TikTok is extremely worrying.’

TikTok is another popular source for information among young people, with 17% going to the app for content on consent.

The case for better sex education:

‘I just wanted to make everything that’s medical easy to digest in layman’s terms,’ says educator Evie Plumb, speaking on Metro’s sex podcast Smutdrop.

‘All of us get a lot of education from the internet, whether that’s Google, or social media, and I wanted to make a place people can go that’s not going to get deleted by Instagram, where they can learn in non-confusing ways.

‘Obviously it’s scary to parents if you mention “sex education” as soon as their children start going to school, but at the beginning it’s all about consent, and that’s just about sharing with your friend, which can be applied to all sorts of things in life, not just sex.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : Sex positions and techniques to stay cool in the heatwave

MORE : This is what counts as a sexless relationship, according to an expert

When you shack up with someone who has children, you’re gaining more than a new relationship. But what happens if you butt heads with their brood?

This week, we hear from a reader who can’t stand his wife’s ‘lazy, selfish’ adult son. So much so, that’s he’s given her an ultimatum: either the son moves out or he does.

It is a recipe for disaster? Read the advice below.

Before you go, check out last week’s dilemma, where a husband was using his lovechild to justify his ongoing affair.

The problem…

I found love late in life six years ago, when I fell for the barmaid at our local golf club. She already had a teenage son, who seemed nice enough on the rare occasions I saw him.

When we married two years ago, I moved into her place as she didn’t want to disrupt the boy’s schooling. That was when I realised what a lazy, selfish layabout he is, though things were bearable while he was still in education.

This summer he left school and now stays in bed till lunchtime most days. He has no plans to go to university or work, and rather than contribute financially, my wife actually still gives him pocket money.

He brings his friends home at all hours and plays music that wakes us up. Believe it or not, she will actually make him and his friends egg and chips at three in the morning, so they all think she’s the mum of the century. I’ve tried telling her she spoils him, but her view is that he’s only young and enjoying himself while he has no responsibilities.

Our sex life has fizzled to nothing as I’ve started sleeping in a separate room, so I’m not disturbed when she gets up to cook for him.

I don’t want to give up on my marriage so soon, but I’ve reached the point where either he goes, or I do.

Laura says…

You may disapprove of how your wife treats her son, but trying to lay down the law is likely to unite them against you. After all, they were a unit before you came along and probably have a very strong bond. Perhaps as a single parent she centred her life around him, without realising this was encouraging him to be selfish.

Nevertheless, this is your home too, and as you are presumably sharing the expenses, you’re entitled to expect certain rights.

Your stepson won’t live to your rules just because you married his mum, so try instead to gain his friendship and respect. Take him out for a drink and encourage him to talk about his view of the world. He may be so wrapped up in himself that he doesn’t realise what a pain he’s being, so now is your opportunity to clear up a few things in a non-judgemental way. He’s more likely to try to please a friend than an enemy.

Believe it or not, he’s probably scared of the responsibilities of growing up, so encourage him to look online for ways to get that first job. Point out the plusses of work, like friends, independence and money.

Don’t turn this into a competition for your wife’s affection but do explain to her how the present set-up is harming your marriage. Move back into the bedroom and put renewed effort into your relationship; sulking in the spare room will only make things worse.

Remember that your stepson will eventually leave home. You’ve waited a long time to find love; do you really want to give up on it so soon?

MORE : This is what counts as a sexless relationship, according to a therapist

MORE : Older mums say my parenting is wrong – spare me your toxic hindsight

From socks and sandals, to chasing after a runaway tennis ball, there are many, many reasons why we might get the ick.

And now, there’s a new turn-off in town: birth order.

Dating experts at Bumble have created a ‘birth order dating guide’ which reveals the green – and red – flags that come with dating an eldest, middle, youngest and only child.

And we’re warning you – it makes for some eye-opening reading.

Bumble’s sex and relationships expert Dr Caroline West says: ‘The order of our birth may influence how we behave in relationships, as our family dynamics play a key role in how we experience adult romantic relationships.

‘Whether you are a first born who takes responsibility, a middle child who compromises, or a charming youngest child, our birth order has the potential to shape how we show up in our relationships.’

When it comes to that eldest child, Dr Caroline says they are ‘natural leaders’.

She explains: ‘First born children are often organised, ambitious, and natural leaders. This can be handy in a relationship as plans are easily made and date admin remains minimal.’

However, there are downsides too. ‘There can be issues if they are used to being in control all the time. Equally, if they are left to do all the organising, they may end up feeling frustrated or taken advantage of.’

Middle children on the other hand are a little more flexible. ‘Middle born children may be used to compromise, or playing peacemaker between older and younger siblings, so they can be great at finding balance in relationships,’ says Dr Caroline.

‘However, these skills often come at the cost of advocating for their own needs which can lead to resentment and miscommunication.’

When it comes to the baby of the family, they’re likely to bring a sense of fun to the relationship. ‘Last born children may be adventurous and social as they grew up with older siblings and often tried to keep up with them,’ says Dr Caroline.

‘This sense of risk taking and adventure can be fun in a relationship, but can cause issues when dealing with issues that arise. The initial honeymoon stage is fun and exciting, however last-borns may struggle as this phases passes and develops into calm emotional intimacy.’

And what about those only children? ‘If you grow up as an only child, you might find that you have a well developed sense of independence and maturity. Whilst used to being on their own, only children may struggle with compromise or feelings of loneliness,’ says Dr Caroline. ‘In relationships, this might impact how arguments are solved, or how partners are supported.’

So, when you ask that classic ‘do you have any siblings?’ date question, listen tocarefully…

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : Women are ‘stack dating’ to slot finding love into busy schedules

MORE : Alphabet dating is the new trend refreshing relationships from A to Z

Moving in with your partner is often seen as a big relationship milestone to be celebrated so, if they suggested moving back out again, you’d probably be worried.

But one woman has explained that her boyfriend’s decision to leave their home to live with someone else is not because they’re breaking up – but instead, he’s fulfilling his ‘dream’ of living with his little brother.

‘My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year and a half now and he’s moving out next week’, TikTok creator Maiah Police explained in a recent video.

‘We’re not breaking up, it’s just a new phase for us.

‘He’s moving in with his brother and he’s always dreamed of living with his little brother, so who am I to get in the way of that.

‘It’s not some kind of traditional contract that you sign like once you move in with your boyfriend you must live together until marriage and then you have kids.

‘I’m also 26 and he’s only 24 so if he’s gonna live with his little brother, now’s the time to do it.’

When her boyfriend first presented the idea to her, she wasn’t convinced. However, as she mulled it over, she changed her mind, describing the upcoming reality as a ‘fun chapter’ she’s ready to embrace.

‘I’m very particular and I have a lot of sleeping issues. We’ve also been together for three and a half years now’, she continued.

‘We’re going to get to live apart and then when we come together, it’s like more intentional time.

‘Sometimes when you live with your partner it’s easy to exist around each other.

‘He’s only living like a mile away from me so it’s not like he’s going too far.’

Fellow TikTokers were largely confused by Maiah’s situation – with many suggesting they were heading for a break up.

‘Boyfriend is basically breaking up with her by moving out but she’s like still in denial and she thinks that they’re gonna stay together’, one user commented.

‘Girl, that was me like 11 years ago with an ex-fiancé’, she added, describing how after living with her parents he decided to move out to live with some colleagues.

‘At first, we would see each other every weekend and then after three months we’re seeing each other less and less’, she detailed. Eventually, the pair broke up after he cheated on her, having turned off his Snapchat location and Facebook messenger online status.  

‘Your boyfriend doesn’t like you’, chimed someone else.

‘My husband moved out last year too girl! It worked out really well for me’, another user added. ‘I’m now divorced and dating someone who actually likes me.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : Woman refuses to let boyfriend move in with her because five months is ‘too soon’

MORE : ‘I’m taking boyfriend applications – I’ve already got 3,000 potential candidates’

MORE : Why you should snoop on a partner before moving in together, according to a private investigator

In the words of Lana Del Rey: ‘It’s f***ing hot.’

Yesterday was one of the hottest of the year in the UK, and it looks like it’ll be staying warm until the end of the weekend.

While sex is regularly described as hot and steamy, if it gets way too hot it can be almost uncomfortable.

And, while you can take some time off having sex when it’s super muggy and humid, in a heatwave like this there’s bound to be moments when you’ll need to find a workaround.

Here’s hot to have hot sex when it’s hot outside.

Reverse cowgirl

Although reverse cowgirl is almost the same as cowgirl, the fact that your chests and mouths aren’t facing towards each other helps cool it down a little.

It’s a great view for the person on the bottom, and the person on top doesn’t need to grind too much and exert themselves to feel a whole lot.

This position is great for clitoral stimulation and anal.

Wheelbarrow

The wheelbarrow initially seems like one of those positions that only a tantric master would be able to do.

But if you get into it in stages it’s much less daunting, and the lack of full body contact makes for heatwave friendly thrusting.

Get the person with the penis to sit on the edge of the bed, and the person who’ll be receiving to sit on their lap (also facing outwards).

Then, the receiver bends down until their hands are on the floor, with the giver holding on to their legs as they straighten them.

The receiver walks their hands out on the floor and the giver stands up still holding their partner’s legs.

Doing this anywhere near a fan means you’re basically having the coolest sex possible.

Ice cube play

Temperature play uses cold and hot items to stimulate erogenous zone in the body. But let’s face it, we’re not going to be going anywhere near the warm side right now.

Blindfolding your partner and softly moving an ice cube across their skin can be a unique part of foreplay, and cool you down as well as arousing.

Some people also like to use lightly melted ice cream, ice poles, or frozen fruit to add the element of taste to the mix.

Just make sure to keep sweet stuff away from vaginas (no one wants a yeast infection) and incorporate a safe word so they can let you know if they’re not comfortable at any point.

Wet t-shirt contest

Okay, this is isn’t the standard wet t-shirt situation you’ve probably seen in American teen movies.

But wearing a while t-shirt and having your partner spritz you with water while caressing you and kissing is pleasurable in more ways than one.

The damp tee will keep you chilled, but show off all the contours of your body – no scratchy lingerie in sight.

Then you’re free to ride your partner into the sunset.

Shower sex

Shower sex is a bit hit and miss in the real world. Water acts as an anti-lubricant causing friction, and the standard shower has little by way of grip.

Needs must sometimes, so if you’re thinking about having shower sex there are ways to make it great.

You want to get yourself a silicone-based lube. Water-based lubricants will wash clean off and oil-based aren’t safe for use with condoms. This will give you the movement you want.

Just keep silicone lubes away from sex toys as they can break down the material. LoveHoney has a great range.

If you have a shower in the bath, use this for leverage by popping a leg up or adopting a seated position.

If you opt for doggy-style, make sure the receiving person has somewhere to put their hands and that they’re nowhere near the temperature controls.

Failing all this, you might as well just embrace the sweat, and have an ice lolly or pop a cold flannel on your head once you’re done.

Do you have a story you’d like to share?

Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.

MORE : 11 incredible beauty spots that prove Yorkshire really is God’s Own County

MORE : Influencer personal assistant job ad goes viral for ‘disgusting’ demands on potential employee

When I downloaded the dating app Grindr to look for someone who could show me around Turkey, I was just after a person to hang out with.

I definitely wasn’t looking for a fiancé!

It was June last year and I was in Cerkezkoy – which is just outside of Istanbul – to accompany my sister while she was having surgery.

While scrolling through the app, a very handsome man caught my attention. He was charming and had beautiful eyes. His name was Mert, and we immediately hit it off.

Before we knew it, we were talking for hours. He was funny and – for the first time in over four years after my last relationship ended – I had butterflies.

To my delight, Mert said he would love to meet me, but he was on holiday in another part of Turkey. I thought: ‘Oh well, it wasn’t meant to be.’

But the next day, Mert messaged me again, saying he had cut his holiday short and was on his way to see me. I was in shock.

With Mert on his way, I wasn’t nervous at all, which is unlike me when meeting someone new. I was just excited to see this man who had dropped everything to visit me.

When nearly five hours had passed in total, I thought I was being stood up. But then I got the text I had been waiting for: ‘I’m here!’ My heart was doing summersaults.

Composing myself, I waited in the hotel restaurant when Mert walked over to me with the biggest, loveliest smile on his face. He gave me a hug and said I looked beautiful.

Straight away, I felt so relaxed and safe with him, like meeting an old friend. Over cocktails, we got to know each other better.

We clicked on so many levels. We’re both from the LGBTQ+ community – I’m trans – we both work in the beauty industry, and we both understand the challenges that life can bring, like discrimination and worry over being viewed differently by others.

As the hours passed, I realised it was getting late.

With Mert living over an hour away, I asked him if he would like to stay the night with me. He replied that he would love to, but only if I was comfortable with it. A perfect gentleman.

We had a few more drinks and continued talking.

Remarkably, I learned that Mert had travelled over 300 miles and spent the equivalent of £400 on the taxi ride to come and meet me for our first date.

By the next night – having spent the full day together – I felt completely comfortable and happy in Mert’s company. I didn’t want to be without him.

So I asked him if he would like to spend the rest of the week with me before I flew back to England. I was over the moon when he said yes.

It was on the evening of day five in Turkey that Mert and I were sitting in bed, talking about our lives and difficulties we have both faced, like heartbreak and anxieties from previous relationships that can linger – like being kept a secret.

Through seeing Mert’s vulnerability and honesty with me, I realised I was head over heels in love with him.

With less than 24 hours left until I was due to fly home, I said that I needed to tell him something: ‘I’ve fallen in love with you.’ His reply changed my life forever: ‘I’ve fallen in love with you too.’

On the day of my departure back to England, Mert joined me and my sister for the journey to the airport. I cried the whole way.

Mert held my hand and told me he loved me. At Departures, he presented me with a passport photo of himself, the date of the day we first met written on the back. Alongside it read: ‘I will love you forever, my wife.’

During the flight, I cried until my eyes were red and puffy.

We didn’t have a plan in place on how we would make things work long distance, but I told Mert I would do everything in my power to come back and see him.

At first, long distance was hard. The things that normal couples do are amplified – little things you take for granted, like reading each other’s body language.

I was worried about making it work, but our connection was so strong that we did it. My job as a hairdresser means I can be flexible, so I flew out to see him whenever I could.

But leaving Turkey got worse and worse each time I had to go home. Each time I went out to see him, I loved him more, making it harder to leave.

Now though, Mert is finally living with me in our home in North Devon and it’s real love – truly and deeply. Flaws and all.

Mert is the bravest man I have ever known. He loves me for being me; he is equally proud to be mine, and he’s not scared or worried about being seen with me.

As a man from a Muslim background, Mert has risked a lot to be with me. He shows his vulnerability and his strength on a daily basis.

Mert loves everything that I don’t like about myself, which has made me a more confident person. He takes me as I am at any time of day – whether I’ve got bad breath in the morning, or if I’m feeling self-conscious about my weight.

It doesn’t matter, he just loves me.

The ‘real’ relationships I have had haven’t lasted for very long. I have normally been with ‘straight’ men, who view me as a woman, but would never want to be seen in public with me.

I’ve even had partners change my name on their phone, so no one would know that they were talking to me. This left my confidence in tatters and I thought I would never be good enough for anyone.

Considering that Mert is Turkish and Muslim and that attitudes there of being with someone like me is a big taboo, Mert has shown me what real love truly looks like – and I couldn’t be prouder to call him mine.

Mert and I got engaged on 22 September last year on a private yacht in Istanbul.

Mert popped the question with a really stunning laser show on the river – but little did he know, I was about to pop the question myself! We swapped rings and celebrated with a glass of champagne.

The most difficult thing for us has been asking ourselves if and when to tell his parents the truth about my gender identity. It’s been a real source of stress and anxiety, but I know we will get through to the other side with each other’s support.

I want us to be able to love each other safely without worrying who knows about us. I want to be able to walk down the street without fearing whether we will be victims of anti-LGBTQ+ violence, discrimination or prejudice.

But with the amount we have achieved in just one year of knowing each other – like overcoming long distance and even buying Candy, our cat, together – I am very excited and optimistic about the future.

Everyday is a great day when you have your best friend and love of your life next to you.

Shane & Mert’s story features in the brand-new series of 90 Day Fiancé UK, which is available to stream now on discovery+.

MORE : I knew I’d met my soulmate – but I still went on a date with someone else

MORE : A day after spending £110 on our first date, he asked me to refund him

MORE : As soon as I turned my back my date sprinted away from me

Whatever you call them – rubbers, Johnnies, or even a French letter if you’re being super-fancy – you’ve probably used them.

While over the years we’ve seen a huge shift in attitudes to condoms, from being shunned in the 70s to considered cool (for the majority of us) by the noughties, they’re something that is now used without hesitation. Well, most of the time.

But what’s seen them turn into such a must-have item, that even Kendrick Lamar acknowledged a shift in perception in his Money Trees lyrics, rapping: ‘Back when condom wrappers wasn’t cool’.

It was in 1855 that we were introduce to the first phophylactic, which was made from rubber as thick as a bicycle inner tube and custom made. Fast forward nearly 170 years and Durex – a brand that occupies 40% of the global condom market, worth $4.6bn – are set to deliver their ‘thinnest’ ever condoms called Nude, to ‘maximise sensation’, this year.

However, it’s a metamorphosis has been a long time coming (puns aside) – and one involving a global health crisis, accidental pregnancies, demand for better options… not forgetting the ongoing pleasure debate.

Ben Wilson, sexual wellbeing director at Reckitt, home to Durex, says that although there’s still taboo surrounding condoms, it’s only been in the last three decades that significant progress has been made.

‘We’ve always tried to break the stigma around condoms, such as people feel they can’t have the conversation around safe sex, an embarrassment of buying condoms, and the ever-old challenge around condoms “reducing pleasure”,’ he tells Metro.co.uk.

These days though, he adds, users are ‘thinking about a condom as part of a larger sexual occasion, versus just the moment of penetration’ and says that condoms ‘remove the anxiety’ of unplanned pregnancy and contracting an STI or STD.

From Ben’s perspective, marketing has played a huge role in getting people on board with using them.

‘In the 1970s, we were sponsoring Formula 1 and lots of motorsports, because there was a young male demographic watching these things at the time. In the 1990s we were doing work with MTV, which also attracted young people,’ he explains.

‘Durex has a huge history, but during World War 2, the supply of condoms from the US and Germany dried up, so Durex as a British company became the key player in the market. However, it was only in the 1990s condom usage became “normal” and widespread.

‘Culture and wider society issues have had an impact too. The AIDS crisis of the 1980s was a huge driver for the benefits of condoms.’

While censorship stopped conversations from breaking down stigma, some ad companies worked hard to get their product message across.

For example, back in 2010, advertising condoms was forbidden in France. However, one French non-profit, supporting those with HIV and AIDS called Aides, decided to create an advert showing graffiti drawings of genitalia enjoying sex with a condom.

Despite it going against guidelines, the short video was given the green light, paving the way for future condom advertising.

Usage is a whole other beast though, and the reasons people personally choose to go with and without condoms wildly vary.

A study among homosexual men found common reasons for not using one included being in a steady relationship (32.8%), being unprepared (19.4%), and not being bothered (19.4%).

Meanwhile, other research has looked into being pressured by men, especially as a woman, to forgo condom use.

Tricia Wise, is a safe sex influencer who goes by the name Safe Slut. She tells Metro.co.uk that although she always prefers to use condoms, there were times in the past when she felt pressured to go without – that was until she contracted genital herpes (HSV2) in November 2019.

‘I liked to practice safe sex when I could, but I was also very afraid of advocating for myself,’ Tricia, 29, explains. ‘So if I was with people who were making a big deal about wearing a condom I’d say it was fine to go without, but then feel anxious and get tested afterwards.

‘Condoms have always been my preferred method of contraception.

‘Now that I have herpes, I’m an even bigger fan of safer sex, but with herpes, condoms aren’t 100% effective. It can help reduce the risk, but herpes is transferred skin to skin, not fluid, so as the condom isn’t covering your entire genital area, it can spread.’

For Tricia, communication is key when practicing safe sex.

‘I ask my partner when they’ve been tested and what those results look like, then I share my status, then we decide what we want to do,’ she explains.

‘My main thing when I’m going to have the disclosure conversation is I don’t do it in the moment, I do it before when clothes are still on.

‘I always start by asking them about their sexual health, because as well as using condoms to lessen the risk of spreading herpes, I’m doing it to protect myself from them too.

‘The response is always telling – if they say they don’t get tested or use stigmatising language, that’s a turn off for me.’

For casual one night stands, condoms are ‘not even a question’ for Tricia, who adds that she’s never had any bad responses when revealing she has HSV – either they ask for more information, or already are clued up.

The evolution of condoms

Less

The evolution of condoms

More

James* was another who had his contraception choice shaped by personal experience.

Never a ‘one-night stand kind of guy’, he says condoms just weren’t a subject he’d discuss with friends – and are still something he feels self-conscious talking about, which is why he didn’t want to share his identity.

Although James admits he wasn’t initially a fan of the contraception, the 27-year-old now swears by them.

‘When I got comfortable with a new partner, I used to do the pullout method,’ he explains, adding that he felt like he could trust them to be truthful about STIs or or get tested.

‘The emotion in the moment would take over, and even though I knew the method is risky, I didn’t really care – until I experienced a pregnancy scare.

‘My partner was told she was pregnant at a hospital when she went to A&E in pain. But then 10 minutes later, they told her it was a mistake and she wasn’t.

‘It was a huge shock to the system,’ admits James. ‘So now I use condoms, because I have a primal fear that if I become a dad, I will be absolutely f****d.’

Being diagnosed with gonorrhea was a massive wake up call for Emma*, who doesn’t want to be identified for fear of stigma still surrounding the STI.

She says she chose not to use condoms as she preferred the sensation without them and found the act of putting one on mid-foreplay a ‘mood kill’.

‘There was never an active decision not to use condoms, it was more that I would get caught up in the heat of the moment and go without, because I was on another form of contraception (either the pill or implant),’ Emma explains.

‘I put STIs to the back of mind – even though I knew that was stupid. Then someone I’d slept with informed me he had gonorrhea. It was hugely embarrassing, from telling past partners so they could be checked to having to take time out of work to visit the clinic for treatment.

‘It was also a massive wake-up call, however, and made me realise that the real mood-killer is contracting the clap.’

Now in a long term relationship, Emma uses condoms every time they’re intimate due to side effects with hormonal contraception.

‘While rootling around in a drawer for a condom mid-way through foreplay isn’t the sexiest thing in the world, it’s far better than an unplanned pregnancy,’ she adds.

‘If I was single, I’d insist on using a condom and it’d be a deal breaker for me to be met with resistance. After all, I learned of the consequences of avoiding condoms the hard way.’

Not all sexual health concerns can be avoided with condoms, however.

Aside from the health perspective, even with perfect use, two in every 100 people will have unintended pregnancy each year, while ‘typical use’, according to the NHS, sees 12 in every 100.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be using them, as no form of contraception is perfect, but it does point to the difference they can make if used properly.

Currently in the UK, gonorrhoea cases jumped by over 50% between 2021 and 2022, it’s the highest number of diagnoses made in a year since records began in 1918.

For all of the progress made to make condom use common practice, there’s still work to be done evidently.

Though it’s worth noting that other forms of protection have been widely advocated for, too. Among gay men, the use of PrEP – HIV prevention medication – is also popular and might inadvertently reduce condom reliance.

Lisa Hallgarten, head of policy and public affairs at Brook, a sexual health charity, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The high level of gonorrhoea clearly tells us that there is insufficient condom use.

‘This is also reflected in what we are seeing in our own clinics, where over the past four years the number of people saying they do not use condoms has increased by over 10%.

‘It is vital that the effective promotion of testing and treatment for STIs is matched by stronger messages about prevention and the need for consistent condom use.  

‘Sexual health services are already stretched to breaking point with a huge rise in demand for services alongside many years of cuts to funding. Additional investment needs to be provided for national and local schemes to promote and provide condoms.’

There can be a generational divide too, in terms of attitudes to condoms.

Mark*, who is in his late 30s, has gone through phases of irregular condom use in the past due to feeling less anxious about catching STIs, and enjoying periods of hedonistic sex.

He previously worked as a fitness model and went to sex parties in his 30s, during a time he describes as being ‘high on testosterone’.

Although the sex party scene always advocates for the use of condoms, Mark didn’t always use them. One ocassion he remembers was during a threesome with men and women, where he says he got caught up in the moment and, in his words, wanted to ‘spread his seed’.

Now, he tells Metro.co.uk he wouldn’t run the risk as you ‘just can’t know’ if someone is healthy or taking birth control properly.

‘We’re descended from apes, and condoms aren’t natural – it’s a fact of life – but I’m absolutely pro-condoms,’ he says.

‘I came out of my old phase due to loss and grief within my family. It made me change my lifestyle.’

And as popularity and demand for condoms continues to grow, some makers have been thinking outside the box in a bid to make their’s the go-to brand.

Roam offers skin tone condoms in a range of shades, to ‘celebrate individuality’ as they put it online; then there are ultra-thin condoms from brands like Skyn to combat the pleasure issue; while others such as Hanx, who are meeting the needs of vegans and the chemically conscious. Environmentally friendly options are also offered by XO! whose products carbon neutral and biodegrade in a year.

However, we still haven’t reached condom perfection says Ben, who thinks there’s more innovation to come – and the more skin-like they feel, the better in terms of uptake.

‘I think condoms that deliver the most pleasure are going to be the winners, because ultimately the constant battle for us is how to deliver more pleasure,’ he explains.

‘That could be in how thin or transparent it is, how it smells, or what materials and lubrication is used. All those sensorial elements.’

‘Protection and pleasure together,’ he adds. Which is ultimately all anyone could want from a condom.

Sexual Health Awareness Week runs from 11-17 September, for more information click here.

*Names have been changed.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

There’s an enduring obsession that society has with quantifying sex.

Whether a couple is deemed to be having ‘too much’ or ‘too little’, there’s always another magic number to aim for or a dreaded, sexless number to fear.

But as Match’s dating expert Hayley Quinn tells us, there’s no one-size-fits-all for the amount of times people should be having sex with their partner.

‘Some people consider a relationship sexless if they haven’t been intimate with their partner for the past month,’ she says, ‘whereas for others it can be when one partner explicitly tells the other they no longer want to have sex with them.

‘Before judging any type of relationship, it’s important to remember that there are lots of reasons why one, or both partners, may no longer want sex within their relationship.

‘From health issues, to older age, to a loss of desire, to identifying as asexual, or recognising they have a different sexuality.’

There’s also just the grind of life at play with ‘ruts’ and ‘dry spells’ for couples in long-term relationships – over anything from a new baby to work stress – ‘incredibly common’.

As for what the science says, it seems there’s technically an optimum amount of times per week for people to do it – but whether that’s right for you is another thing.

A 2015 study from York University, which had over 30,000 participants, found people’s happiness levels associated with sex plateaued when they did it once a week.

Researchers from the University of Toronto Mississauga have also concurred – having sex around once a week is the ‘sweet spot’ for happiness.

Any more than that doesn’t really have any more of an impact, based on data collected from 25,510 Americans aged 18 to 89.

With that being said, don’t let yourself feel pressure to do it once every seven days – after all, that stress will probably defeat the purpose of doing it in the first place.

If you’re worried you’re not having enough sex, or that your relationship might be verging on sexless, Hayley says: ‘Before hitting the panic button, consider if this is just a “dip” – AKA short-term.

‘If one partner is very stressed they may be physically withdrawing from the relationship, which can make their partner feel insecure and crave affection more. To get out of this cycle, and build the happy, committed relationship you want, you’ll need to reach a compromise.

‘That might mean putting your needs on the back burner for a period of time, as you recognise that your partner has issues unrelated to you to work through.’

If your partner is a bit of a closed book on the subject, you might think about giving couples therapy a try.

‘Or’, Hayley adds: ‘it may be about working together to find a middle ground – that might not (at least for now) be a passionate sex life, but it could be a regular good morning massage or a cuddle on the sofa.

‘Over the course of a long-term relationship, it’s almost inevitable that you’ll have moments of reduced desire – which is a common reality in relationships, but with a continued commitment to one another, you will be able to work through them.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : Why it’s time to rip up your sexual script

MORE : Vanessa Feltz reveals favourite sex position and declares ‘it keeps you fit’

MORE : Cars are collecting data on your sex life and manufacturers could sell it

Keep them hooked with the right text.

Most of us have heard about love languages by now – the concept that people show and feel love in different ways, and understanding your partner’s love language can make it easier to connect.

Well, the same goes for texting.

In our modern age, we shouldn’t shrug or laugh off the idea that a simple text can deter or attract someone. When dating apps are the primary way of meeting people, how you speak virtually matters and can inform someone’s opinion of you.

According to dating app Badoo, starting up a conversation is one of the most nerve-wracking things about making a new connection, as a third of those they surveyed struggle with this.

More than a third also overthink the content of their messages and worry that a delayed response means the person doesn’t like them.

And more than a quarter worry they’re messaging too much or replying too quickly.

This anxiety causes singles to over analyse the meaning behind someone’s ‘messaging style’, which has led to 60% of people doubting or even ending a chat with someone.

Relationship expert and TV sex therapist, Charlene Douglas, says you should set your ‘textpectations’.

‘It’s important to get to know someone’s messaging style before interpreting a delayed reply, lack of response or excited reply as a sign that they’re either not interested in you, or a bit “too much”,’ she says.

‘I know it’s easier said than done, so I’d always recommend discussing your “textpectations” with a new connection, and to understand theirs, as you could miss out on forming a relationship with a fantastic person due to a simple misunderstanding.’

People have a variety of different expectations when it comes to messaging.

39% say their go-to style is to send multiple, short messages, while 25% prefer emojis and reactions.

70% of singles agree that mismatched messaging styles can have a negative impact on a potential connection, and a similar number say they’d find it helpful to know the texting style of the person they’re dating.

Are your emojis putting off a detailed texter?

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : Skint, single and can’t afford to mingle: Dating costs money we don’t have

2023 is the year to rip up your sexual script and abandon ideas about what is normal, according to Ruby Rare, author, sex educator and co-star of new Channel 4 show Sex Rated.

Ruby has outlined her top tips to help people with their sexual debut on metro.co.uk’s Smutdrop podcast, arguing that the phrase ‘losing your virginity’ is outdated because the experience is more about gain.

She tells host Miranda Kane: ‘I don’t really like the idea of losing your virginity. Because – where does it go? What happened? It doesn’t mean anything. To me, experiencing sexual pleasure and sexual intimacy is about gaining experience and knowledge.’

Her advice for people making their sexual debut is to go at your own pace and try to dismiss the idea of what may or may not be normal.

‘The typical way that we see virginity is a man and a woman having sex, which involves a penis going into a vagina. For lots of people, that isn’t the sex that is going to appeal to them, maybe because of sexuality, but also because of pleasure,’ explains Ruby.

‘We know that for the vast majority of women, penis and vagina sex isn’t the most pleasurable because it actually doesn’t stimulate the clitoris as much as loads of other wonderful, sexy things.’

Ruby argues that the emphasis on partnered sex devalues masturbation, adding: ‘I first had sex with someone else, when I was 15, and for years, that was the moment I started having sex.

‘Actually, now when I look back on it, I had been exploring solo sex for years before then. And I’d already had some sexual encounters with teenage girls. And I completely devalued those experiences, because the cultural script had told me that that wasn’t what sex looked like.’

Ruby calls on those encountering sex for the first time to make sure they’re clued up on issues like lube, ‘an essential part of sex’, condoms, STI testing and consent, advising a look at info from sexual health and wellbeing experts Brook.

Alongside the term ‘losing your virginity’, the idea of what’s ‘normal’ needs to be binned, she adds, as everyone is different.

‘Normal is not the same for everyone. And it’s not about trying to fit into what other people’s versions of normal are,’ says Ruby. ‘What you’re doing and experiencing as long as it’s not causing you pain, or other people pain – I want that to be okay.’

But above all, she advises that if you’re having your first sexual encounter, it needs to be with someone you trust, respect and can have those awkward conversations with.

‘It’s less about – are you in love? Is this person someone who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with?,’ she explains. ‘The 2023 version is, is this someone I respect? Is this someone who respects me? Is there mutual care there between us? And that can still exist in really casual sex.’

Ruby also tells Miranda that she would like sex education to focus more on pleasure, a word that is missed out when the subject is discussed at schools, and warns against following the ‘sexual scripts’ that we’ve been given – arguing that sex does not need to look like anything that you’ve seen or heard about before.

‘Provided things are consensual, and that you’re checking in with each other, there’s no rules for what happens or what order it happens in,’ she says.

And Ruby wants experimenters to understand that real life sex is nothing like porn; which is an entertainment form.

‘Porn is like Formula One racing. People who do it professionally, they really know what they’re doing,’ she explains. ‘I struggle to parallel park still -but there’s beauty in being able to just pootle around and go for a drive.’

MORE : The most popular fetishes around the world (and some of the most obscure)

MORE : How not to get into a tangle if you want to try a bit of rope play in the bedroom

‘It’s no problem for me or Rona, she is happy to have an experienced partner that is in balance and loves her the way she is,’ said 69-year-old Joop Evers.

Joop is referring to the 44 year age gap between him and his 25-year-old, wife Rona.

The unusual coupling has meant the pair have lost friends and family who don’t agree with their relationship.

They say many people also believe they are only together because of money – but that’s not true.

Joop said: ‘Age is just a number. This is a real love story, not an attempt to get money or a green card.

‘Rona has never asked for money unless it is to help other people who are in desperate need.

‘It’s true love, I know people won’t believe it but there’s so much love and understanding between us.

‘She doesn’t want a green card, you read a lot of people want them to go to the US but I’m from the Netherlands, we don’t have them there.

‘We don’t care what people think or say, it’s our life and we are really happy together.’

Joop, originally from the Netherlands, now lives in his wife’s hometown, Bacolod, in the Philippines, where the pair are widely accepted in their relationship and can escape the negativity they’ve previously experienced.

He added: ‘In the Philippines age gaps are highly accepted, but I don’t have contact with my family and a lot of friends anymore because they don’t accept my relationship.

‘When I told them about my relationship, they just refused to accept my wife because of how young she was.

‘I’m a divorced man with two children already so it was a big change, but this is my life and they chose not to accept it.’

The father-of-two had reached out to Rona on Facebook after noticing her during a trip to the Philippines to visit his brother and his wife. The soon-to-be lovebirds chatted over text before she eventually flew over to meet him in person.

He said: ‘We started to chat four years ago, when we finally met, she flew over and it was a huge culture shock for Rona because the Netherlands is so different to the Philippines.

‘I know the people and culture of the Philippines, but she had never been to Europe, so it was a nice meeting but a lot to adjust to.’

Rona’s family, on the other hand, have given the relationship their blessing, despite the age gap.

Rona said: ‘My family have been so supportive of our relationship. Obviously, an age gap is a lot more normal in the Philippines, so they have always supported us no matter what.

‘I don’t care what people say about us, I love him very much. We are good people; we love and care for people and just want that love back.’

Although the couple want their relationship to be widely accepted they’re also aware they ‘get a lot of stares’ as a couple.

Joop thinks the staring stems from ‘jealousy’. He said: ‘If we go to shopping malls, we get a lot of stares because she is so young, but she dresses differently to other Filipinos too, I think it all just comes from jealousy.

‘I’m on an age gap relationship group on Facebook and there are always people that are jealous who comment things about us being together.

‘Everything that has been said to us comes from jealously, but we’re happy. It’s a better life for her but it’s also a better life for me.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : ‘Burnt out and lonely, I gave up city life and moved to the Caribbean’

MORE : Horoscope today – September 6, 2023 astrological predictions for your star sign

MORE : Identical twins have worn the same outfits for 23 years

Some people prefer to steer clear of sex during their period, while others find it makes them hornier than usual and want to pack in the orgasms to relieve their cramps.

This woman, however, has some feelings about what her partner gets up to while she’s menstruating, and it’s causing frustration in their relationship.

On Mumsnet, the 39-year-old sought advice over whether her viewpoint was unreasonable, saying she’d ‘been thinking of posting this for ages’ and was ‘finally biting the bullet.’

‘Am I being unreasonable to ask my husband not to relieve himself (masturbate) when I am on my monthly cycle and to come to me/ask me if he needs a “release” during this time?’ she asked.

Commenters pushed her for more details, unable to understand why his habits affected her.

‘He knows it makes me feel a failure if he needs to do it himself (plus I know he would watch porn to do it),’ replied the woman.

Further explaining her position, she continued: ‘My last partner cheated on me throughout our relationship

‘What can I do or say? Ask him to jerk off but not to porn? He will use porn to jerk off to even if he says he won’t (I believe) so that’s why I asked him to ask me.’

It appeared as though the woman’s problem was not specifically with him masturbating but with his porn use, as well as her belief he was being dishonest about watching it.

Yet despite the issue being more complicated than it first appeared, many still believed her request was unreasonable.

‘If my partner tried to control how and when I masturbate I’d leave him,’ said one user, while another added: ‘Why do you even care? So he might use porn. So what? Give yourself (and him) a break from trying to micromanage him.’

A third wrote: ‘You could look at this as him being thoughtful. He recognises that you might have period pains, feel grouchy and don’t want to deal with his sexual feelings at that time. So he masturbates, rather than be a pest. As long as he’s not doing it in front of you, I don’t see it as an issue.’

Others felt differently, including one person who said: ‘If you want to offer your partner a sexual act with you as an alternative to his DIY, by all means do so. He may decline, which is obviously his right. But no harm in the suggestion.

‘As for porn, it’s entirely reasonable not to want a partner who uses it due to the ethical issues so that’s another conversation.’

Another added: ‘It is reasonable if you don’t want him to get himself off to porn and he should respect that if your relationship is monogamous and masturbate without it.

Some also – since the original poster later confirmed she doesn’t masturbate – suggested she give it a go herself. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander after all.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : This is how many times women masturbate each year, compared to men

MORE : Woman creates genius period tracker to send to the men in your life

Doctors have warned of a relatively new STI that less than one in five people have heard of.

Mycoplasma genitalium, or Mgen, was discovered in the early 1980s, but a reliable test for Mgen wasn’t produced until 2017.

Despite less than 15% of people having heard of it, Mgen impacts up to half a million Brits, or 1-2% of the sexually active population.

The reason Mgen is relatively prevalent while also remaining unheard of is that it is often symptomless, just like HPV.

‘What makes this STI so prevalent is its ability to go undetected,’ said Dr Neel Patel, GP at LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor.

What is Mgen?

Mgen is an STI caused by a tiny bacterium called Mycoplasma genitalium that affects the urinary tract of both men and women.

According to Dr Neel, ‘it can be spread by both vaginal and anal sex, although transmission may occur even without penetration.’

Symptom-wise, Mgen is similar to chlamydia, although it is caused by a different bacteria.

While Mgen is often symptomless in 80% of men and 50-70% of women, some people do show symptoms after one to three weeks after infection. 

The symptoms are slightly different in men and women.

It’s possible to get tested for Mgen, however it isn’t routine at STI clinics, so it’s a good idea to ask your doctor directly for an Mgen test.

However, says Dr Neel, ‘they may only test for it if you present symptoms or if you’ve raised it as a concern.’

Is Mgen dangerous?

Mgen often clears up on its own, however, left untreated, it has been linked to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) which, says Dr Neel, ‘has been associated with preterm births and miscarriages.’

He said: ‘If someone is infected who has other STIs, such as HIV, Mgen may make them more likely to pass on those other infections.’

It’s also important to note that Mgen can lie dormant in the body for months or years, so getting tested is vital to ensure you don’t pass it on to someone else.

How is Mgen treated?

‘It is very unlikely for Mgen to go away by itself so it’s important to seek treatment,’ says Dr Neel.

‘Mgen can be treated by a course of antibiotics, though it may take multiple rounds and different types of antibiotic to clear the infection.’

One major concern with Mgen is that it could become a ‘superbug’.

Due to its similarities with chlamydia, doctors in the past often tried to treat Mgen as chlamydia, causing a rise in antibiotic resistance, making it even more important to get tested and treated as soon as possible. 

Once treated, Dr Neel advises waiting two weeks after finishing your antibiotics to have unprotected sex to ensure you don’t pass it on.

Finally, if you want to avoid catching Mgen, make sure to get tested regularly (every three to six months, depending on your number of sexual partners) and always wear a condom.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE : Asking For A Friend: Can I have sex if I have HPV?

MORE : Gonorrhea diagnoses have hit an all time high. What is it and how can you avoid catching it?

MORE : Low sex drive? Expert reveals fatty fish could be the key to boosting your horniness