The hardest job. An impossible task. This is how you’ll often hear parenting described.

But, as if bringing a child into the world, juggling work, health, happiness and raising them to be a functional member of society wasn’t enough, the crippling cost of living is now pushing parents to the brink.

Half of Brits cannot afford to give their children the life they want to, according to new research by UNICEF.

It’s a harsh reality caused by an unforgiving economic climate of rising costs, unaffordable childcare and a lack of financial support.

More than three quarters of parents report that this rising cost of living has negatively impacted their family life (up 12% from last year) – with 71% saying their finances are stretched to the limit.

Kayleigh Crossley, 28, from Preston, Lancashire, began her midwife training when her daughter was just eight months old. She wasn’t being paid but, because she was a student, neither did she qualify for state-funded childcare.

The mum has now even had to delay having a second child because she and her partner can’t afford it.

She says: ‘Nursery was running between £800 to £900 a month and I didn’t get any parental support from Student Finance England.

‘I had to make sure that I was earning more money to pay for nursery, so I was also taking on the equivalent to a second job alongside shift patterns.

‘I was working in excess of 40 to 50 hours every week as well as doing my studies at the same time with a young toddler.’

The young mum claims that Student Finance England never gave her a ‘straightforward answer’ as to why she didn’t qualify for financial aid.

But it is not only the financial impact that Kayleigh struggles with. She feels like she’s ‘failed’ her daughter. Even if she could afford to go on days out, she hasn’t got time because of her punishing work schedule.

‘I am really sad that I have missed out on so much with her in her early years,’ says Kayleigh. ‘It makes me feel very stressed and down.’

‘It’s not like I was even working so much for us to have days out together. I was working so much just to afford childcare,’ she said.

‘I do feel like I’ve failed her in some ways, because I feel like I’ve been so stressed with it all that it’s affected our bond, but the only other choice I would’ve had would’ve been not working at all.

‘Of course that is never going to be an option for us because we simply wouldn’t survive.’

Like most parents interviewed for the UNICEF research, a lack of affordable and accessible childcare has put Kayleigh under immense financial strain.

However, she hoped hoped that after two years of struggling, her daughter, then three, would qualify for 30 hours of funded childcare with the government’s scheme.

‘When the time came, we found out that because I was a full-time student, and I didn’t earn enough from my second job that we didn’t qualify for [funded childcare],’ says Kayleigh.

‘It was an extremely difficult time. We were basically relying on one income to support us.’

Nursery also only provides childcare Monday to Friday, 8am until 6pm, which doesn’t cover Kayleigh’s shift patterns. She has to pay even more to drop her daughter off before eight in the morning.

‘It is just not doable for us, we already reached our limit with the money we pay now,’ Kayleigh says.

‘Having these extra pressures of feeling like you are basically going to work to pay for your childcare makes it even more stressful. I get very limited time with my daughter as it is with the job that I do.

‘There is just not a great amount of money left aside for us as a family.’

Kayleigh needed a lot of mental health support from her university due to the toll of her financial situation which left her with anxiety.

The young mum isn’t alone with 61% of parents claiming they have struggled with their mental health since becoming a parent. This includes feelings of being overwhelmed (49%), anxious (43%) and unsupported (36%).

Kayleigh was also unable to have another child when she wanted because she wouldn’t have qualified for maternity pay or leave.

‘Due to the cost of living and because of nursery fees, I honestly can’t see us having probably more than two [children], maximum of three,’ Kayleigh adds.

‘As much as I’d love to have more, it would never be possible for us as a family. We wouldn’t be able to afford it. We know how much we’d struggle with childcare if we did.’

Kayleigh is just one of the many parents with a financial situation that paints an ever-worsening picture for those with children in the UK. Her story comes as 70% of parents with children under 5 admit it feels harder each year to be a parent in this country.

The findings are the latest from UNICEF UK’s Early Moments Matter campaign, which is calling on the UK Government to step up support for children under 5 and their families, and improve early childhood services across the country by committing to a national Baby and Toddler Guarantee. Sign the petition here.

Jon Sparkes, Chief Executive of UNICEF UK, said: ‘These findings provide a stark snapshot into the reality for many families with babies and young children right now – worried for their children’s future, struggling to make ends meet and left feeling anxious, alone, and unsupported.

‘It is vitally important, that families can access basic services like maternity care, health visits, mental health support, affordable and high-quality childcare and support for Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND).

‘These services, while essential for all, can provide a lifeline for families struggling financially and/or with their mental health.

‘The fact that it’s the most disadvantaged families who are struggling more and who are least likely to have accessed support, means we risk cementing inequalities in children’s lives before they’ve even picked up a pencil.

‘The UK Government’s Start for Life initiative seeks to improve support for babies and young children, but its funding does little to address the growing shortfalls in essential services.

‘Urgent Government action is needed to address the gaps to stop families slipping through the net and to safeguard our babies and children’s futures.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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We all know that when it comes to money, things can get a little heated.

At dinner, do you all split the bill equally? Do you pay for exactly what you ordered? Or if someone puts their card down, do you assume it’s on them?

The fires of this controversial debate around bill-paying etiquette have been stoked once again as TikToker Bria Jones took to the social media platform to share her bill drama.

Bria had gone to dinner with friends and offered to put the bill on her credit card to avoid the hassle of splitting the cheque – but six weeks later an acquaintance still owes her £192 for her share of the meal.

Bria said on TikTok: ‘This girl owes me $240 (£192). I don’t even really know her. I’m usually the friend that doesn’t mind putting their card down when we go out to eat.

‘My friends pay me back. We do the Venmo thing, it’s no biggie, plus I like to get the credit card points.’

She goes on to say it was a friend of a friend who was invited to the dinner that she didn’t really know. Bria put her card down, assuming everyone would transfer their share of the bill, but the friend of a friend is yet to pay her.

‘Did I get scammed?’ she said. ‘I messaged her on Instagram a couple of times and I could tell that she had seen it. No response.’

Bria also texted her and claimed the girl replied saying she would transfer the money that evening, but three weeks later she still hasn’t paid.

She said: ‘I keep following up. This is such weird behaviour, you don’t go to dinner and rack up $240 on your bill and then just not pay someone back for it. Are you stupid or are you dumb?

‘If you don’t have the money for something, then don’t rack up the bill.’

She went on to say that it ‘wasn’t the end of the world’ but that it was ‘the principal’, however she didn’t feel like she could do much at this point apart from accept the financial loss.

The video has hit nearly one million views with most commenters in complete agreement with Bria, saying she was entitled to that money back.

One commenter wrote: ‘No because I’d be knocking doors down for $240,’ while another wrote ‘six weeks is too nice. You’ve got six days’.

Others felt that it was up to the friend who invited the girl to chase for the money, with one TikToker writing: ‘Whoever invited her, has to talk to her. Because why bring a shady person to dinner?’

Bria did say that she had reached out to the friend who invited her and that she was going to talk to her soon.

Some people even felt it was appropriate to go to small claims court to get the money back, but surprisingly, not everyone felt Bria was in the right.

One TikTok user Isabella said: ‘What do you expect her to do? Give you the money the next day like she has it all? No, you have to wait.

‘If you can’t wait, you just suck it up and take the gesture because you offered it. No-one put the gun to your head.’

Bria said that offering to put it all on her card was so the waiter or waitress didn’t have to split the bill multiple ways.

She responded to Isabella, saying: ‘To be clear, I never said “this is my treat b**ches”. It was even discussed at the table like “you guys can just transfer me”.’

Psychologist Ali Ross previously told Metro.co.uk that the best way to handle splitting the bill is to be upfront beforehand, i.e. before people order food.

She says: ‘When you go out or away with friends, be upfront as early as possible about how you’re handling money.

‘Is everyone going to pay their way, or will someone manage the costs and we settle up at the end?

‘Whatever you decide, if it’s been agreed beforehand, you will feel more at ease knowing your needs have been communicated clearly, and you’re all on the same page (in theory).’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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With wedding season underway, Metro.co.uk has roped in Alison Rios McCrone, venue owner and planner, to help solve your dilemmas in a weekly agony aunt column…

Dear Alison,

Are my wife-to-be and I being unfair? All our friends and family seem to think so.

We’ve planned a destination wedding for next year in Italy, where we met. 

We’re spending a pretty penny on it – it’s going to take place over four days, with plenty of activities for everyone to enjoy – and we’re both genuinely really excited to celebrate with our favourite people (around 80 guests). 

As soon as we started sending out invites, however, we noticed people getting a little bit shifty and uncomfortable. 

It’s taken us a couple of months to find out why, and it’s because we’re not paying for people’s flights, accommodation, transport to and from the wedding, alcohol once there, and we’re asking people to chip in for some of the more pricey activities – like the wine tastings. 

I get that it’s not going to be cheap for guests to come, but it’s not cheap for us either! Plus, they’d spend the same amount on a mini break so why are they complaining about this, which I can guarantee will be more fun? 

We’re adamant we’re right, but it’s caused a bit of tension with the people we actually want to celebrate with. 

Are my fiancée and I really in the wrong?

Thanks, 

Michael

Dear Michael,

Thank you for writing to me about your concerns about your wedding.

Firstly, let me be clear – no one is right or wrong in this situation. 

When you and your partner decided on an overseas wedding in Italy, it was the choice you wanted to make. Especially as it was the country where you both met. It clearly has an emotional connection for you both.  

It is your wedding, and it is your choice.

But it is also a choice for your guests whether to spend the large sums required – and remember they might not be able to. 

It’s important to remember that every decision in the build-up to your wedding will only please some, and you should not try to please everyone, instead prioritising your own desires for the most part.

However, weddings are nothing without guests, and it is essential to consider their perspectives.

Anyone organising their special day needs to keep in mind that once you have booked the venue and set the date, not everyone can attend, no matter where it is. 

It is essential for you to have this as a realistic expectation.

You mentioned you have already sent out invitations, which is great. That gives your guests plenty of time to book flights, arrange time off work and, perhaps most importantly, save money. 

This should allow as many of your invited guests to attend as possible, but you shouldn’t expect 100% of them to do so.

Italy is beautiful, and some may use it as part of their annual holiday and plan to stay longer to go and explore the country, but you shouldn’t automatically assume this will be the case. Aside from finances, they may have other weddings to attend in that period, limited annual leave, childcare concerns etc. 

Again, whether your wedding is at home or abroad, please remember everyone has different financial resources and commitments. 

What is reasonable to you and your fiancée could be excessive or too expensive for some guests. 

Flights, accommodation, transport, and additional expenses can soon add up, not least if the experience is as action-packed as you say. 

Traditionally, weddings do include some expenses covered by the couple, such as the venue on the day of the wedding, food, and some drinks during the wedding day. 

Ensure you are transparent with your guests about what is included and what isn’t – and be understanding when some of those invited can’t afford it. 

You mention your wedding is over four days, but you need to be sensitive to the fact that some of your guests may only be able to attend the actual wedding itself. For those that do come for multiple days, it is imperative that you don’t try and make the paid-for activities mandatory and let your loved ones know as such. 

You may feel your destination wedding will be more fun and memorable, but other guests may prefer a different type of holiday. It is important to understand this and not be offended.

Give guests the option to RSVP to each event. 

Be aware that family and friends won’t be setting out to offend you – listen to their concerns about cost and see if there are ways to solve them. Perhaps you can cut back on some aspects of your wedding to help fund the activities guests would otherwise have to pay for.

You could do away with wedding favours or say you do not expect a gift but would appreciate contributions to the activities instead. 

It definitely should not be an expectation that you cover flights and all accommodation for everyone, or you have to cover the transportation costs as long as you are clear on what is included and give information to help everyone make the most of it. 

Set up a website that helps your guests with local information and contact details for local taxis, hire car companies, accommodation close to the wedding venue, activities to do while staying in the area, and dining options if staying longer. These options should suit a range of budgets.

I’d also suggest that you arrange a less formal gathering to include anyone unable to attend when you return.

It is important to remember that your wedding should be a fun occasion for everyone. 

Finding a balance that respects your vision while considering the financial and emotional well-being of your loved ones will help to find a happy outcome for everyone.

Good luck with your wedding planning, and I hope you find solutions that help your guests and allow the excitement for your wedding to build, for you, your bride-to-be, and those who will attend.

Best wishes

Alison

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

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